burning hole

i found a new way to torture myself and i'm so excited about it. for the past 3 days my kitchen has been out of commission due to renovations, so I've been going over to the robin's donuts at the bus depot down the block to get my morning coffee and bun. and the morning counter girl hates her job so much she radiates burning, unbridled contempt. she is a black hole of resentment and bad customer service. the first time i experienced her joy, i told myself i wouldn't go back because her suckiness would poison my day too much. but then, i went the next day. i couldn't help it. i just rolled out of bed and couldn't stand the thought of walking more than 30 feet to get sustenance, so the bus depot was the only option. and now i'm hooked on her shit. she's like 4 feet tall, and i love that she hates me for no reason other than i want to buy goods from her. she hates everyone. i love to watch her abuse the other customers. hers is a safe, non-denominational kind of hate. because i don't think i'd love this half as much if she only treated me like shit.

it's the little pleasures that get me through the day.

speaking of which, i love my niece and nephew so much. they are the only people i know that treat me with the respect i deserve when i act like a psychotic retard. finally, people i can really be myself with. normally, children generate a feeling of profound indifference in me, but those little shit storms are totally "the bomb."

i'm feeling self conscious today. maybe i should just start drinking right now. i can't get high because my landlord, the plumber, and the carpenter are all hanging out in my kitchen. it's nice to have a new kitchen, but these guys are ruining my life.