i'm listening to swedish "alternative" radio on the internet. the music is pretty run of the mill, by my standards anyway (which are actually pretty low.) but i like listening to the announcers speak.
i just got home from the gym. my thighs hurt, which i suppose could be a good thing. it feels a bit like i've had sex, which i guess is the next best thing. the most satisfying action i've gotten this week is doing it by myself after smoking hash. however, i do need to get a vibrator. . .
and i just got the books for a correspondence course i'll be taking: how to teach english as a second language. just in case i need to leave the country, i'll be able to support myself easily.
i've also entered a writing competition. the piece i've entered is not very good, but i think i may have a decent chance of winning something anyway. i'm a bit delusional-- not about the quality of my own writing, but the lack of quality in other people's efforts. that way i get to think of myself as better than most other amateurs by default. bad logic definitely, but it keeps me unmotivated enough to try just hard enough to be a dabbler. low risk. not very courageous, but you know, writing is hard work. and stuff.
i've been having mild anxiety attacks lately, which usually signals a change in my life. i have a tendency to get stuck in routine and certain behaviours that make my life comfortable and "easy." so, these days i see anxiety and panic attacks as a positive development-- it means something is happening. i think it might actually have something to do with drinking a bit less than usual. as in, i'm not totally hammered 5 nights out 7. and i'm excercising, which is probably releasing all sorts of chemicals in my brain and body that i'm not used to (ie. not alcohol or drug related.) weird. i expect as time goes on in this fashion, i'll have a revelation about about something. maybe even an epiphany, if i'm lucky. this is an interesting prospect and the process gets more and more satisfying as i get older. because i am getting older. even if i don't really "embrace" it like a good feminist should. i'm a huge fan of "wrinkle reducing" or "skin plumping" creams and ointments and the like.
one more thing. the other night i went to a comedy improv performance. i was pretty gooned, so i thought it was funny even though it probably wasn't. anyway, after the show i dropped by my neighbour's house (you know, the guy i regularly try to make out with. to my credit, i am sucessful 4 times out of 10.) again, anyway. he was wearing a white terry cloth bathrobe when i walked in. i have never seen this man in anything other than black. all black all the time. it was startling. and kind of charming in a slightly creepy way.
2 comments:
if it's skin creams you want, skinmedica makes a great one called TNS recovery complex that uses human foreskin as its active ingredient. courtney love swears by it, and look how great she looks. no, i'm serious. with all that's happened to her, she should look like phyllis diller by now.
lets just hope these efforts at self improvement dont take away from your trademark sense of irony and self deprication.
i dont know what you sent, but i do know you have a gift for pitch perfect prose. never boring neither and there is a lot of that kind of thing going on.
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