i took my tongue piercing out yesterday. i've been thinking about doing it for awhile, but i just left it. i shouldn't say that i took it out--my esthetition (torture mistress) did because it was screwed on so tight i couldn't actually do it myself. now my mouth feels empty-- i keep sucking on my tongue in rememberance, and i realize how integral such a small piece of metal was to the everyday inner workings of who i am. i didn't realize how attached i was to that stupid thing until now. oh well. i had it for almost 4 years and as far as piercings go, it was a good run.
torture mistress. yes, i pay her to put me through excruciating pain every couple of weeks or so. it's called electrolysis. here's a gross little fact about me. when i was younger i made some unfortunate decisions regarding personal hair removal. for example, i shaved that fine, pale little trail of hair from my bellybutton to my pubic region (which is now equivalent to the bermuda triangle.) so, of course, the hair grew back thicker and darker. so i shaved it again. you get the picture. i got tired of waxing my belly-- it just seemed weird and oddly humiliating, even in private. i am also blessed with some strange hair growth pattern on my neck (this appeared after i stopped taking the pill.) my friends assured me that they could not see what i was talking about, but every once in awhile i'd find a couple of really course dark hairs growing on the side of my neck and occasionally on my chin. not cool with me, so i plucked them. well, then it seemed that i was constantly finding these hairs and continually plucking them away, and one day i realized that if i didn't stop doing this i was going to wake up with a beard. so electrolysis seemed like the most viable, permanent option. in case you don't know, electrolysis is a form of permanent hair removal that involves a very small filament that is inserted directly into the hair follicle. an electric current is then shot through the filament into the follicle killing the root of the hair. it fucking hurts. not only is there a tiny pin plunged deep into your dermis, it also electrocutes you. and she has to apply the treatment to each follicle for at least 5-10 seonds each time. it feels like you're burning from the inside in just one very small area. and my mouth always tastes like metal during the process. it's often a bewildering experience. i couldn't take it yesterday. she was working on my treasure trail and i practically had to chew on a piece of wood to keep from crying like a baby. we decided that i had reached my pain thresh hold for the day and i got the fuck out of there. i always leave her a tip, though.
3 comments:
have you ever considered laser hair removal? it's just as painful but they use lasers so it's like science fiction. you go "ooh lasers" but then they start zapping your skin and that's when the fun stops but i generally don't have to bite down on wood. occasionally i'll clutch some nearby by fabric. i go to a really nice greek girl who used to date my brother (didn't everyone?) my brother, by the way, is in cape town right now shooting a movie. he says there's poverty everywhere but he's staying in a 3 million dollar condo so he doesn't notice.
i seem to recall being one of those people who didn't notice your neck hairs. well, i guess the joke's on me. as for your piercing, well, at least you had a trained professional take yours out. i had to yank my eyebrow ring out of my head in the men's washroom at denny's just outside of denver.
laser hair removal girl-- is her name patty? because she did some great microdermabrasion on me.
gary, you've got to tip the laser hair removal girl. if you piss her off she'll change the setting on the little laser gun and scar you for life.
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