m. and i are starting a band called "slutty fetus." our debut album will be titled faster than the speed of ass. we came up with this high concept endeavour after witnessing the parade of slutty costumes the girls were wearing for their big halloween night on the town. april was a slutty witch and amber-lee (yes, that is her real name) was dressed as a slutty brownie. if you're canadian, you'll recall that brownies were the step before girl guides (similar to girl scouts, etc.) brownies are in the 7 to 8 year old range, and i myself was a brownie, but i thought it was stupid and did not continue onto girl guides. the uniform for a brownie is a utilitarian brown dress with an orange and white neck scarf that has to be tied in a special knot. anyway, a slutty brownie? come on. that's gross. m. was like, "what's next? the slutty toddler outfit?" and i was like "no. next year it should be the slutty fetus." how awesome would that be? because, really, if the fetishization of children has become as acceptable as women choosing to sexualize their childhood experiences to that extent, then i say we need to go back to the womb. imagine how disturbing it would be to see an image of a fetus, all veiny, bulbous eyes, still partially "webbed" fingers, umbilical cord, maybe even covered in a little blood and mucus, wearing fishnets, a short skirt and a tube top. people would be appalled. but, somehow, the slutty brownie is a-ok. christ. have you seen what 7 and 8 year old kids are wearing these days? it makes me want to live in a remote part of northern canada. the "post-feminist" cultural scene is really creeping me out.
i'm going to watch hedwig and the angry inch tonight to make myself feel better. another great show to watch when you're feeling utter despair about the vacuous wasteland of current pop culture, is strangers with candy. it's a tv series created by and starring amy sedaris. that's some funny shit, man.
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weren't we going to start a band called "daughters of the sea" who sang really earnest folk ballads about the sea? and didn't we even go as far as writing lyrics to a song about sea gulls? or am i thinking of someone else?
no. that was me. i distinctly remember driving down albert st. singing about sea gulls with you and talking about "daughters of the sea." sigh. and now it's come to "slutty fetus." will i ever get around to being a rock star? i should probably learn an instrument first.
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