still life

i didn't go to my old room mate's party this weekend. apparently, it was the bash of the century. there was impromptu catering, live music, and a lot of women. and booze and drugs for all those who entered. ah well. i was guilted into going camping instead. i spent a beautiful evening drinking wine and playing boggle by the campfire. a wise decision on my part, i'm sure. my friend insisted i go because her husband was out of town and she was hung over and depressed because he wan't around to fart and make stupid jokes and make her laugh. apparently spending time with me is the only acceptable antidote to those kind of bad feelings. however, on sunday afternoon, my old room mate's (n---) new room mate (m.) invited me over for a cigarette on the stoop. he seemed like he was in need of some fortification before cleaning up the horrid mess from the prior night's festivities, so i drove up the hill to retrieve my dope and came back to roll us up a gagger. he invited me to his room to partake. it was kind of strange being up there. it used to be my room for a long time, but i like what he did with it. we got absurdly stoned while n--- was downstairs with his lady friend. anyways, somehow it happened that i ended up spending the day with n---. he was totally still drunk from the night before (because he was still drinking scotch at noon when i originally came over and didn't stop until we left the house at 3.) i laid out some rules before we left the house: no leaving me stranded anywhere while he chatted up other people (a completely valid rule because he has a habit of doing that and i was so high i could barely function) and no yelling. i got him dressed, then we went out into the world. we started with over-priced coffee. he chastised the barista for talking to her boyfriend when she was supposed to be making my mocha frappe. then we went to the bookstore and picked out a fabulous book for his grand-daughter. then we went to the drugstore to buy a toothbrush. then we went for a late afternoon cocktail. it was great. i told him we make much better neighbours than room mates. then we went back to his place and cuddled up to watch a movie. my room mates invited us over for dinner in the backyard, which was amazing. and then n--- and i retired once again to his bedroom to finish watching the movie. when it was over we mucked around a bit because we were feeling so good about our day together. which was kind of funny because it originally looked like i was going to be spending the day with his room mate, but he passed out upstairs at some point, and was now loudly cleaning things up in the kitchen while n--- was getting me off. ahhh ha ha. (m. now probably thinks i'm a creepy weirdo.) i left right away after that-- i had to be up for work at 6am the next day.

at any rate, these are the boring details of my life. n--- and i appear to have a new understanding/appreciation of each other and it feels good so far. i just have to be careful not to spend too much time over at his house now that i feel comfortable with him again. i've been working on appreciating people that i've been holding grudges against because it's a much better feeling than being angry and hurt. it's not about excusing bad behaviour, it's about forgetting it after all has been said and done. some people get forgotten altogether, but some people get to stay in my life. this new personal policy seems to be working for me, so we'll see how it goes.