hubris pear

i love the feeling of well-being and calm i get from a tumbler of scotch. i tried to recreate that feeling monday morning with a shot of vodka in my coffee. unfortunately, it didn't work and by mid-afternoon i had a splitting headache. sometimes finding appropriate coping techniques is a challenge.

on sunday i went to alaska for the day with a friend. she decided not to claim her purchases at the canadian border on the way home and got caught. we had to wait around while the customs agents searched her car for other illegal goodies. it was a pretty tense half hour for both of us. the car actually belongs to her boyfriend who is in quebec, and i was certain there was a stash of drugs somewhere in the car that both of them forgot about in their exstensive travels across the country. but, it turned out ok, and we actually got to see a black bear on the highway right in front of us just after our adventures in border crossing. so the lesson we learned there is: doing bad things means interesting things will happen to you. or something like that.

my crotch itches like you wouldn't believe. i got a bikini wax less than 2 weeks ago and it's already growing back. i must have mutant pubic hair. it's like those really hardy weeds that you can't pull out of the ground because the roots stretch for miles or something. and it doesn't even look good anymore. all that pain and money wasted just to have 3 days with a pussy that looks like an aging porn star's. is it really worth it?

hands of lamb

i just smashed both my knees when i was running up the stairs to get the phone. i slipped on the steps and then when i was propelling myself forward off my knees i slipped again and fell really hard on the kitchen floor, which is considerably less soft than the carpeted stairs. thankfully, i was laughing hysterically the whole time because the thought that it looked like my legs didn't work properly anymore seemed very funny.

i went to a little "welcome home/birthday/congratulations on graduating from your program" party for a couple of friends last night at the hotel where i was employed until very recently. i hate these kinds of events-- i never know who is going to be there, and inevitably i end up making inane conversation and pretending to be really excited to see certain people and act like i wouldn't rather be at the bar down the street. but, since i felt it would be bad form to not to at least make an appearance, i went. overpriced drinks, bad food and the above-mentioned social awkwardness compelled me to step outside for a cigarette. i saw the bar down the street and knew there were free drinks waiting for me (my friend works there), so off i went. saying good-bye is an over-rated social obligation most of the time anyway.

several free drinks were had and i got to see an amazing blues show, so the night was salvaged somewhat. but i'm still having trouble getting back into the social scene with genuine enthusiasm. that's ok. maybe i should create my own social scene that features more trannies, art wankers and party-minded intellectuals than my current circle. i know they're around here somewhere.